Sammy Blazenyak
9/11/18
Research and writing
Essay #1
The cultural expectations of being a man aren’t all they are cracked up to be. In all honesty being a man in todays age and culture is like walking on thin ice while being on fire, one wrong step and your going in and too long and you burn. That’s how it has felt being a man in the modern feminist era. People expect us to fit into exactly our roles and to never deviate from the norm or risk being ostracized from the very fabric of society. As being a man in the 21st century has changed dramatically from our predeceasing generations. We are perceived to be the brave protector who is ready to selflessly sacrifice ourselves at the first sign of danger. On the other hand, we are supposed to be caring, compassionate and chivalrous who is supposed to be empathetic and completely open to the world. We are also supposed to completely contradict ourselves as we are supposed to be a wall of no emotion and bottled feelings all the while we are supposed to show our feelings and show them in the acts that we care, we also are supposed to completely expose all of our inner thoughts and concerns with promises that we wont be judged but we know better than that. We are also pictured to be the absolute cut from stone chiseled hunks. Even thought that is the picture of health not all of us will achieve it. And the perception of a man who constantly wears a cut off tee shirt and shorts with muscles is that he is a player and a douche and not a person who’s just trying to show off the rewards of all the hard work put into their body. Also, we are seen as the perpetrator of all rape and sexual assault we are told that thinking a woman is beautiful and telling her, we support rape culture. And if we are raped were told that we liked it and that if not were weird and even thrown under the bus as the rapist. We are also seen privileged especially if we are a straight white man. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been homeless I would like someone to tell me how I was privileged. I also was accused of horrible atrocities such as having sex with my mother at the age of 7 by my father. No one can tell me my story from just looking at me, I don’t look like I’ve been homeless for years or that I told my mom at the age of 9 that we have to leave my abusive father even if it means we will be homeless. I don’t look like my story and could never ever be the perpetrator of a rape for the very reason I could never make a make a person feel like I did. Also when I look for women because of my past I really resonate with Bo Burnham’s lower your expectations where he sings (“If You Want Love You want a guy that’s sweet A guy that’s tough A feminist who likes to pay for stuff The kinda guy that gets along with your friends Without being attracted to any of them A good boy, a bad boy, a good bad boy A half good half bad half boy, Loves your brother sensitive but not weak and Is a great lover calls your mother on the weekend Now you might think that this guy only exists in your mind Guess what You’re right. If you want love Lower your expectations a few Because Prince Charming would never settle for you If you want love Just pick a guy and love him And if he’s got a thing for feet Say fuck it, sweep me off them.”) the reason behind it is that a lot of women do hold us to higher standards. although it also works in the reverse as we look for the perfect woman we neglect some of the most important thing to look for in a girlfriend. There are also sometimes we a ridiculed for having some standards of what we look for in a woman. And if you search men shouldn’t have preferences for women on google you get 80500000 searches so it’s a relatively big topic. Although men do have some personal problems and some very specific problems we are not the only ones here. Women also experience problems such as females are taxed on hygiene products like tampons and pads. Women are also at a much higher rate of sexual assault then men as women are 1:6 meanwhile men are 1:33 according to RAINN sexual assault survey. Women make up 90% of all rapes in America and to think of that makes me sick to my stomach and as it should. However men are more likely not to report any kind of sexual assault for fear of being ridiculed. Men also are supposed to be the workers and the providers, and the women are supposed to rear children at home. While men are out working they now make up most work place deaths and accidents. It has also put unnatural stress on the man to be the only provider and puts men at a unprecedented risk of developing depression and possibly committing suicide. And since the women are seen as providers it leaves them at home and kills their chance to build a very respectable resume. It also causes the woman to feel dependent on the man for all sources of income. Another factor is it doesn’t allow for as much of a financial safety net as it could if both parties worked. Both of those gender rolls being the binary are somewhat of a luxury compared to the people who suffer from gender dysphoria or believe they don’t fit into either category. For these people they constantly are under attack from people and are the victims of micro aggressions or blatant aggression. These people in this kind of one-sided barrage can easily find them self’s depressed or suicidal. While battling continual harassment they try to find a way to see them self’s and find out who they really are.
Instuit, RAINN. “Victims of Sexual Violence: Statistics | RAINN.” RAINN | The Nation’s Largest Anti-Sexual Violence Organization, 2018, http://www.rainn.org/statistics/victims-sexual-violence. Google Search, Google, http://www.google.com/.
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